Three natural thinking patterns predominate. While as individuals we can change these patterns, each of us tends to have a favorite pattern, which becomes very automatic. Each of these patterns has pluses and minuses. Awareness of your favorite pattern can lead to lessening of the minuses associated with it.
Let me call the first, the young-soul thinking pattern [I am using the Michael teaching terminology (young, mature, old) as described in Messages from Michael (Yarbro, 1983)] This pattern is characterized by a strong sense of right and wrong. It was usually learned, without any modification, directly from parenting figures, society, or religious teaching. There have been few, if any, changes in this pattern caused by direct experience since the pattern was incorporated, typically in childhood. Whoever exhibits this pattern has a sense of rightness about their actions, their thinking, their responses and their lives. Good self-esteem is frequent - a definite plus! The minuses, however, can be excruciating if a person does not fit the image of rightness that has been incorporated. For example, some of my clients with this pattern have difficulty feeling childhood anger at parents in therapy because they "should honor their parents." They wind up displacing such "wrong" feelings onto others or covering them with addictions. In order to move beyond the minuses of this thinking pattern, there are two possibilities, change the pattern or change what is defined as "right." For those more comfortable with the next two patterns, just the awareness of being in this right-wrong rut is often enough to start moving out of the pattern. For those most comfortable with right-wrong, however, the necessity for incorporating a new "right" is likely to be essential.
© 2008 by Thayer White
Finding Your Soul in the Spirituality Maze
|Excerpt from Be Your Own Therapist: "Our childhood trauma knots propel us to act differently, to act for Mom and Dad in ways they want us to act, to win their approval to the maximum extent possible. We bend ourselves all out of shape in this search for approval and usually continue to do so well into adulthood."|