A middle-aged client one day was expressing her anger to me about her mild birth defect, which somewhat limited her physically. Part of my response to her was that choosing a new spiritual system was likely to be essential if she were to eliminate the anger. Obviously, I was confronting rather than being empathic with her conscious mind then. For the empathy of friends, therapists and her spouse in the past had not helped to change that anger. She needed the belief that the birth defect, instead of being something that "should not have happened," was a positive life challenge for her to overcome and move beyond.
The challenge to her was to feel OK with her physical condition, to accept it and its limitations without anger, regret, sadness or angst of any kind. Her spiritual beliefs were based upon the common "what we get in life is random chance" belief and the so-called "scientific" belief that when our body dies, our mind does also. Her beliefs caused this woman to be forever angry at how unfair it was to be so randomly selected for a disability and to feel forever cheated because she would never experience a normal body. Happier choices were available to her:
A religious system in which God gives out such defects for reasons known only to God is potentially a happy belief system.
A system such as Buddhism or Hinduism in which reincarnation and perhaps karma play vital roles would give her the faith that she would have other lifetimes with a normal body.
© 2008 by Thayer White
Finding Your Soul in the Spirituality Maze
|Excerpt from Be Your Own Therapist: "Four typical fears are: (1)I can't trust my spontaneity because I might do myself harm, (2)I won't be accepted if I laugh hard or play joyfully, (3)Creativity is often the work of the devil and (4)I fear I won't be accepted if I enjoy myself because there are starving people in Africa."|