A second common thinking pattern results from the belief that you and I are really the same. If I think along certain lines, you too (if only you weren't so defensive) must think that same way. I'll call this mature-soul thinking, using the Michael teachings terminology (young, mature, old) as described in Messages from Michael (Yarbro, 1983). However, I make no judgment about the relative value of these three thinking patterns. Togetherness and joining become important values for mature-soul thinkers. Relationships are often rich and filled with empathy and understanding. Yes, a strong plus! Another plus for such mature-soul thinkers is their willingness to find out what is right and wrong for themselves rather than just assuming someone else's ideas without testing.
The minuses often associated with this thinking pattern are enmeshment in unsatisfactory relationships as well as anger, bewilderment and lack of understanding when you and I are really different, not the same. For example, if a mature-soul thinker with lots of idealism runs into someone steeped in cynicism, understanding will probably be elusive. As there were for stuck young-soul thinkers, there are two possibilities for stuck mature-soul thinkers. The first possibility is that if the mature-soul thinker can come to believe that in some ways we are very different, which is part of the old thinking pattern, then stuck-ness can disappear. The other possibility is to judge others as being underdeveloped because they don't think the way the mature-soul thinker does. Such judgments create the exact opposite of what the mature-soul thinker wants (togetherness, unity and relationship).
The old-soul thinking pattern is, "You do your thing and I'll do mine." There is no need for us to be the same. In fact, differences are celebrated, provided they do not interfere with my following my path. This can be a thinking pattern of inner contentment and is recommended whenever possible. (Its minuses of less togetherness and less certainty about many issues, while difficult, need not necessarily cause distress.)
Those who know how to think need no teachers. Mahatma Gandhi, 1869-1948
© 2008 by Thayer White
Finding Your Soul in the Spirituality Maze
|Excerpt from Be Your Own Therapist: "Our childhood trauma knots propel us to act differently, to act for Mom and Dad in ways they want us to act, to win their approval to the maximum extent possible. We bend ourselves all out of shape in this search for approval and usually continue to do so well into adulthood."|